A MAN took his dog to the cinema. At the end of the film the dog applauded.
"That's amazing," said the usherette.
"Yes, it is," said the man. "He didn't think much of the book."


A DOG walks into a Jobcentre and asks what's on offer. The woman at the desk says, "A talking dog! There should be a job at the circus!" The dog says: "Why would they want a plumber?"


A MAN goes into a pub and says: "I'd like something tall, icy and full of gin." The landlord calls to his wife: "Mabel, there's someone here to see you."